Truth be told: everyone has fallen in love at least once in their lives, or hope to. The weirdest human being must be who is unwilling to love or be loved. However, sometimes your weirdness starts the moment you fall in love.

What is love? Sadly, TV soap operas, novels, movies, magazines, music, and celebrity lifestyles have worked overtime to distort what true love should mean. That’s why this simple question can trigger an avalanche of contradicting, confusing, and even misleading answers.

For one, it is widely accepted that love has to be painful, with endless obstacles along the way. If you are having a smooth-sailing love affair, free of hiccups, then something is supposedly wrong. Indeed, some people consider such a romance to be boring.

Another notion is that being in a relationship gives you power over the other mate so that he or she should see everything through your lenses. If the partner does not agree with you on something, it means there is no true love between the two of you.

But there is yet another misconception on which we are going to dwell: 

unhealthy obsession and true love. 

To be obsessed with something is to love or want it so badly that it becomes an idol. You are willing to worship it. No, you worship (instead of adoring or cherishing) it day and night. You have no good reasons why you love it that much, but you are just crazy about it.

A certain degree of obsession (even madness) is acceptable or healthy in relationships, but there are situations it becomes the overriding factor. It gets to a point a lover loses sight of who the other person is, stands for, falls for, or even dies.

So how do you know that your relationship is purely an obsession, not true love? The following tell-tales should warn you:

You Overwork yourself when you love people, you care about them and want the best for them. You love to be in their company, listening to them, watching them laugh, etc. You do not have to struggle about how to relate to them. 

It happens effortlessly, naturally. Your personal life moves on smoothly, as well. You enjoy your sleep, food, or own company even without them.

But with obsession, you are busy playing mind games. You are worried about how the partner is going to react to this and that. Whatever he or she says seems to have some deeper, alarming meaning.

You are frequently afraid to hurt him/her. When you are alone, you worry she/he could be with someone else. To keep the relationship alive, you have to devise ways to be more attractive, more loving. 

You quickly forgive without setting the rules. All you want is to win his/her approval in every step you take.

1. You are Not Realistic

True love is well-measured and reasonable, while unhealthy obsession is pure insanity. It is unrealistic because most of the things you set to do or expect only exist in the world of fantasy. 

It is common for a lover with an unhealthy obsession to imagine what a perfect relationship they have and will continue to have until the end of time.

The other partner is seen as the most perfect, desirable person who cannot make mistakes and has no weaknesses. Only the strengths and a bright, happy future can be contemplated. While you’re still reading this, make sure you check out his secret obsession review to know whether that book/course by James Bauer is a good one or not. And whether or not you can actually make someone obsessed with you.

True love is alive to the fact that the other partner has flaws and that mistakes can happen along the way.

2. You Fear Going Back to Your Old Life

Do you feel like your lover rescued you from a dark dungeon of worthlessness, aimlessness, and boredom? Is one of the reasons you can’t let him/her go is because you fear sliding back to your old, miserable life?

You will tolerate anything as long as you are not back to the drawing board. 

That is an unhealthy obsession; it puts you in a state where you cannot move an inch without the lover beside you. You want to know what they are doing at any given moment, or else…

To be at ease, you call or text all the time. You chat nonstop. You talk to him/her first thing when you wake up and the last thing before going to bed.

True love is not afraid of self. The reason many people get obsessed with their lovers is that they are themselves empty.

Before you fall in love, learn to love yourself and appreciate your identity. 

Celebrate yourself, define who you are. You won’t fear to be yourself should there be a need to terminate the relationship. Once you have your independence, you can afford to love without fear.

3. You Shut the Outside World Out

A real love relationship creates space for other people. The two of you can spend the time at the beach with other friends and still enjoy each other. 

But with an obsession, you want to possess your lover; you want nobody between the two of you.

The two of you should exist in another world out of reach of other people, not even family members or close friends. Anyone who tries to ask a question is an intruder.

4. You Move Too Fast

You meet a guy today, and a day or two later, you want to make it clear that you want him to be 100% faithful to you and must never cheat on you or else…

You ask for exclusive commitment, undivided attention, even before the relationship takes root. It is not wrong to ask for these things, but you need to move one step at a time. However, unhealthy obsession won’t let you move step by step; you can’t wait.

Unfortunately, many people think that being impatient is a clear sign that they are finally in true love. That is an obsession, which in most cases ends in tears because, by the time you realize the two of you are incompatible, you have invested all your emotions into the relationship. 

Conclusion

When you fall in true love, you have peace and joy. The relationship makes you a better person. But an unhealthy obsession eventually takes away your peace, turning you into an ogre.

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