Sometimes homeschooling can be frustrating for children and parents. When the work kids do isn’t meeting parents’ expectations, both may feel like failures. In reality, what needs to change isn’t the child, but the expectations.

Knowing where to start can be tough. If you’re having problems homeschooling, here are seven factors to consider:

Make Sure The Work Matches Your Child’s Age And Ability

Many younger children — up to second grade — have a hard time with worksheets, even in the classroom. So that it is easier for a student to ask “write my essay” instead of doing it him/herself. At home, you can create a learning environment that’s more appropriate and varied as well as more fun.

Young children learn well simply through play and practicing life skills. Offer them a variety of interesting toys and real-life tasks to master, such as helping with the shopping list. Not only will it mean less prep time for you, but it will also be easier than trying to keep an antsy six-year-old at a desk.

Middle school and older children can take on some or all of the responsibility for their learning. Work with them to plan what they will cover and how they will demonstrate what they’ve learned. If they are responsible for doing assignments, create a list you can all access and have them check off completed items as they are done. Or make a regular time to sit down together and go over the work they’ve finished.

Don’t forget that your kids can help each other. Ask the math whiz to explain 

fractions to a younger sibling. Have an older child keep an eye on the baby so you can work with the first grader. This is one way to bring family members closer and to give your kids a chance to feel competent and useful.

Take Stock Of Your Child’s Educational Strengths And Weaknesses

Your priority should be to focus on areas where your children need extra help. Maybe they need some one-on-one teaching — from you or a tutor — to catch up in the reading or master long division.

But don’t neglect to seek out more stimulating opportunities in areas they enjoy or do well. You can build their self-esteem by acknowledging their strengths. Give them a chance to stretch themselves and excel and they will rise to the challenge.

Tailor What You Teach To Your Child’s Goals And Interests

The more say you give your children in what they learn about, the more willing they will be to stick with it. Keep your kids’ preferences in mind when looking at science or history topics. Let them select their art, music, foreign language, or sports. And let them pursue those interests, even if the payoff isn’t obvious to you.

Don’t Impose Your Goals On Your Kids

At the same time, you’ll be happiest if you feel your children are doing what you would like them to. It’s OK to steer them towards new activities you think they might like, even if it takes some gentle prodding to get them started.

But avoid pushing them to achieve your lifelong goals for you. Be realistic about who they are and what they can accomplish. And realize that you’re often better off readjusting goals during times when you’re away from home or under other special circumstances.

Be Realistic About What You Are Willing And Able To Do

As a parent, you are a major force in keeping your family together. Make sure you’re there for them when they need you. Find a homeschooling style that you can live with, and don’t overextend yourself. And remember, you don’t have to teach it all yourself.

Research The Best Resources Available To You

You will be amazed at what you can find, even if you don’t have a lot of money to spend. There are many alternatives to traditional textbooks. If something is beyond your budget, see if you can buy it used online or from other homeschoolers in your community, or find out if you can borrow it from your local library.

Find Others Who Can Give You Help And Support

Some people are fine working independently. But almost everyone could use some support from other people in the same situation at some point in their life. Whether you’re pining for relief from a toddler so you can work with your older kids, or a sounding board for your homeschooling efforts and discoveries, reach out to other adults for help before you become overwhelmed.

One good way is to offer to trade off with one or more other families. Take turns watching the kids, swap a meal for Spanish tutoring, or set up a carpool to swim class.

Don’t neglect yourself. Find a running buddy, join a book club, or start a knitting circle with other moms. The camaraderie will help recharge your batteries and cheer you on when you need it most.

Does It Matter Which Method You Use?

Back when I began homeschooling, the big question was which homeschooling method to use.

Would you stick to a Classical Homeschooling regimen? Focus on nature and “living books” with Charlotte Mason? Spend your days learning handicraft skills with Waldorf? Adopt a child-led unschooling approach?

The reasons for this preoccupation with finding the right teaching method were understandable. At the time, 

the first generation of modern homeschoolers had just reached college age. Many people had heard of it, but they weren’t yet sure how well it worked.

Parents who were concerned that they didn’t know as much as education professionals wanted a clear structure to follow. Some worried about how society would view their homeschooled children, and wanted to add legitimacy to their efforts by following methods that had organizations and adherents to support them.

In addition, books, magazines, and websites that catered to the growing homeschooling market started springing up, each with its philosophy. Declaring yourself to be eclectic was the exception, not the rule.

However, over the years it’s become clear to me that few homeschooling families follow just one style or method throughout their children’s entire school career. Parents I have met tend to stray from their intended plans pretty quickly. Before long, most parents are picking and choosing materials to use.

As their children grow and their confidence increases, they begin tweaking their teaching style and tailoring it to each child’s individual needs. They change course when something isn’t working, or when a promising new resource or learning opportunity appears.

In Conclusion

That’s why I believe the notion of choosing one homeschooling method and sticking with it is obsolete. Looking for inspiration and ideas from well-respected writers is still helpful, and reading up on different teaching styles lets you know the options available. But if you don’t have the time to research all the methods out there, it’s not the end of the world. Simply adopt an open approach: try out ideas that appeal to you, follow your instincts, and feel free to drop what doesn’t work.