The elusive female orgasm is such a mysterious “creature” that many myths about it have managed to stick around for decades.

These myths are the reason why a huge orgasm gap exists between women and men. And they also make many ladies put up with mediocre sex instead of demanding what they really need.

Female orgasm myths are so diversified and widespread that it’s time to tackle some of the most common ones that stubbornly refuse to die (regardless of the fact it’s 2020 already!).

Only “Frigid” Women Can’t Orgasm from Sex

Sexual frigidity is more of a social construct than an actual physiological dysfunction.

Throughout time it, has been used by men to disempower women. Frigidity puts all of the blame for not having an orgasm on the woman. Her male partner is absolved from responsibility – since she’s “frigid,” there’s nothing he can do about it.

The so-called orgasmic dysfunction affects 10 to 15 percent of women all the time (they’re completely incapable of orgasms). The factors that lead to this dysfunction are numerous and most of them have nothing to do with physiology.

Some of the most common reasons why women do not orgasm include past traumatic experiences, insufficient sexual stimulation, stress, lack of awareness about one’s sexuality, negative feelings about sex or issues with one’s sexual partner.

As you can see, many of these problems can be rectified.

Most women can actually orgasm on their own or with a partner. Clitoral stimulation is the method of preference. If an orgasm can be achieved by any means, a woman cannot and should not be considered physiologically frigid.

Women Have Orgasm Through Penetration Alone

The main culprit for the popularization of this terrible myth is Sigmund Freud. According to Freud’s theory (which has been proven wrong, just like many of his other claims), stimulation of the clitoris is a type of disordered behavior! Adult, mature women should be capable of climaxing from vaginal penetration alone and nothing else.

Freud’s work is obviously based on lots of stigma surrounding female sexuality at the time. His theory states that only children experience pleasure from clitoral stimulation. Adult women should “shift” from that juvenile activity to actual sexual interactions for “grownups.”

His theory was so prominent that it remained mainstream until the mid-20th century. Women who enjoyed clitoral stimulation were sometimes considered prone to psychosis and in need of mental treatments.

As sad as this may seem, some people still believe that vaginal penetration alone should be enough for a woman to orgasm. This belief is largely misguided. Studies show that the vast majority of women need clitoral stimulation to climax.

So, the next time a guy tells you his penis should be enough for you to reach the big O, tell him off and seek a slightly more educated sexual partner.

All Female Orgasms Are Explosive

Female orgasms can be very diverse in terms of intensity and actual sensation. When using thrusting sex toys, for example, many women are capable of reaching a very powerful and explosive orgasm. Other kinds of stimulation will contribute to a different experience. In addition, the specifics of the orgasm depend on the condition of the pelvic floor muscles.

Some women don’t feel powerful and intense contractions. For them, an orgasm is much more about a sense of release and peacefulness in the aftermath of the big event.

What matters here is to understand the following – there are no strict rules or universally valid claims pertaining to the female orgasm. The things that one woman goes through aren’t necessarily what somebody else will experience. And that’s ok. Both women will be satisfied and happy in their own way.

Simultaneous Male-Female Orgasms Can Be Achieved Easily When You’re Sexually Compatible

Boy, if it were only that simple!

Female erotica is largely to blame for the notion that people who are insanely sexually compatible with each other will manage to orgasm at the exact same time (right of the bat).

Simultaneous orgasms, however, are more of a coincidence than an outcome that can be pursued every single time.

Studies suggest that men need a couple of minutes to reach orgasm during sex. For most women, about 20 minutes of stimulation will be required. Unless a guy can last very, very long or a woman can climax in five minutes, there’s really no way to ensure simultaneous experiences.

Simultaneous orgasms shouldn’t be seen as a testimony of compatibility or love. In fact, people who love each other will simply need to enjoy the experience until both have managed to climax. There’s nothing wrong with her getting there first through foreplay, after which getting into the actual part of sex that will make him come.

Sex Without an Orgasm Is Bad

It’s a well-known fact that most women will not orgasm every single time they have sex with a partner.

Even if the chemistry is insane and there’s a ton of compatibility, sex will simply not lead to the big O every once in a while.

Many factors can lead to such an outcome – fatigue, stress, not feeling it all that much during that specific occasion.

The fact that someone hasn’t had an orgasm, whether they are a man or a woman, doesn’t mean they didn’t enjoy the experience.

It’s about time we stop thinking about sex as a linear progression or a race from a start to an orgasmic finish line. For most people, it involves much more than that. Sex is about intimacy, exploring each other, building trust and having fun. Even if it doesn’t contribute to a climax, sex can still be a memorable and amazing experience.

Sex Toys and Masturbation Can Desensitize You

This is probably another myth that originated from a guy. A common belief exists about female sexuality and how women can become desensitized from too much stimulation.

In other words, if a woman cannot come during sex with a partner, she’s either masturbating too much or she’s addicted to her sex toys. These activities make her incapable of climaxing from actual sex with a partner.

There isn’t a single grain of truth in that myth.

A vibrator or your finger cannot damage your ability to have an orgasm.

If you do use a vibrator at the most intense setting, however, you may require longer and more thorough stimulation from a partner to get there. Some guys may not like the prospects of this but good sex is about doing everything it takes to give a partner pleasure.

As far as the stigmatization of masturbation goes, a lot of damage can be done by such beliefs. Self-love is essential to get to know one’s erogenous zones and guide a partner in bed. Women who don’t masturbate are more likely to be completely oblivious about their orgasms. As a result, they will probably have a difficult time crossing the finish line (unless they’re having sex with an experienced and very understanding partner).

Female orgasms are amazing, diversified and complex. There are no universal rules when it comes to sexual satisfaction, which is why we need to stop generalizing. People should be talking to each other instead of making assumptions. As soon as this becomes the general norm, everyone will become much more sexually gratified. 

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