Have you recently had a breakup that you now regret? Are you on the outs with your ex and looking for a way to get them back? You are not alone.

Relationships are hard, and there can be disagreements or conflicts, that can escalate to a point where you make a rash decision. Breaking up with someone during a heated argument, or because you feel like your lives are headed in two different directions, is not uncommon. If you find yourself missing your ex and feeling like you’ve made a big mistake, you may be wondering how you could get them back.

There’s a gap in your communication and you don’t know how to break that ice. That can be difficult. Life is going on and time is passing, but you don’t want much more time to pass without them back in your life. What are you supposed to do? How can you extend the olive branch?

A lot of modern communication is done through texting and, despite some of its limitations, it can be a great way to connect with your ex and start the process of winning them back. Below, we have six texts you can send to your ex to start wooing them back and how they work.

“Did you hear the news?

According to professional communication consultant Kara Baskin, a text to your ex should sound like something you would have sent while you were together. You don’t want any of your messages to sound fake or out of place.

It may immediately raise flags and put your ex in a place to be defensive or wary. Baskin also goes onto say that the text should be something that arouses interest. A text asking your ex if they have heard the news can be a golden opportunity to start a conversation.

Granted, you’ll need to have some actual news to share, or else you’ll end up looking like a dope, but it is a good place to start. The news that you are sharing should have something to do with something you are both interested in or that they love. For example, you might want to share that a new film based on a book that they loved is being made or that you saw a sale advertised for a product he loves.

This gets you into a nice, easy conversation that gets you talking again. Baskin recommends keeping the exchange short as a way to keep your ex’s interest high and to not bring up anything too heavy.

“Hi!
How’s it going? It’s been a while. Maybe we can have Lunch and Catch Up!”

"Hi! How's It Going? It's Been A While. Maybe We Can Have Lunch and Catch Up!"

If it has been a long time since you’ve talked to your ex, it might be good to send a text that acknowledges that fact. This text is pretty low-key and suggests to your ex that you are in their thoughts, but doesn’t scream, “I want you back!” No one wants to sound like they are desperate. While some folks might point out that lunch is an activity that one does with their friends, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

After all, a couple that has been apart for a while might not have the same spark it once did. Lunch is a great way to get reacquainted with an ex and see if there is still some magic between the both of you. It’s a low-pressure reintroduction and gives you an out if you find that there isn’t the same connection. On the other hand, having lunch does open the door for reconnecting if you happen to feel some of those old feelings resurfacing. If you want to learn more, here is some recommended reading.

“I Need your Opinion on Something.”

This text message is quick and gets right to the point. It’s brilliant because while seeming small and fairly mundane, it has a ton of subtext that speaks to your previous relationship with your ex. When you ask someone for their opinion, it means that you value what they have to say and their thoughts on a subject. It also implies a certain level of trust. While what you’re may only be asking for an opinion on something fairly insignificant, the very fact that you’re still showing this level of trust may shine through to your ex.

It also works because it is likely to catch the curiosity of your ex, so it has a pretty good chance of getting a reply. Like the text regarding whether your ex had heard the news, this is a fantastic way of breaking the ice if you haven’t talked in a bit. You should make sure that the topic you ask about is something they are interested in.

“Hey!
I just Started Watching Game of Thrones.
you’re right! I should have Watched It a While Ago!”

The above is an example of a “memory test”. One of these texts can be very powerful if wielded correctly. The idea behind it is to send your ex a text about a nice memory or something that shared while you were together. It should be something either lighthearted or humorous that will make your ex think about the good times that you enjoyed.

A memory text should never imply that you want to get back together. If you and your ex have split, chances are there is work to be done before you can commit to each other again. All this does is open the doors of communication and allow it to begin on a positive, friendly note.

Hello! I have been doing Some Soul-Searching and I Hate How Things Came to Such a Tough End for us. I Completely Understand if you don’t Want to, But I’d Love to Get Together and Talk.”

I Completely Understand if you don't Want to, But I'd Love to Get Together and Talk."

Sending this text should only be done if you have caused some serious damage to the relationship, says professor Berit Brogaart from the University of Miami. Bogart also reminds folks that if an ex has specifically requested not to be contacted after a bad breakup, that their requests be respected. That being said, this message does indicate to your ex that you have regrets about how things ended.

Your ex may be inspired to text you back because this one shows contrition and your desire to own up to the things you may have done to cause the end of your relationship. It may not lead to a reconciliation, but it does offer an invitation to your ex to at least resolve any outstanding issues that may still linger.

“Hey, You!
This may seem Random, But I need some help with Knowing which Team I should have Going all the Way in my March Madness Pool.”

Like the text about wanting an opinion, this one flatters your ex by showing that you value your opinion.

This one is slightly different because of the wording. This particular text might work better as an ice breaker than the opinion text if it has been a while since you spoke to your ex. One of the brilliant facts about this message is that it acknowledges that you haven’t spoken in a low-key manner.

This text also implies that, despite that time, what they have to say still matters. It displays that you have been thinking of them during the hiatus. As with the opinion text, this should be regarding a topic that they have an interest in and consider themselves an expert.

Remember to be Genuine

Getting your man back might be hard work. Before you send a text to start the process of winning them back, you should give serious thought to why you broke up and if you want to be back together.

There is a chance you might just miss the company. If you are ready to do the hard work and want to initiate contact, remember that the most important thing is, to be honest. If you are truthful and can reconnect, there is the chance you’ll be able to have new strength in your relationship going forward.

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