There is nothing wrong with casual sex. It’s 2020 and men and women alike should be completely free to express their sexuality in any way they want, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone and all parties are consenting. There is also nothing wrong with refusing to get down and dirty as soon as you leave the restaurant on your first date together.

In this day and age, where one-night-stands are common and socially acceptable, it’s important to remember that the more reserved approach toward physical intimacy is a viable option, as well.

As modern technology continues to bring us together, there are many options for singles to explore their sexuality and find new partners. You should be wary of some of them, though. They may seem legit at first, but they turn out to be classic scams soon enough. Check out this One Night Friend review if you want an example of such an app. This applies to all dating applications designed to help you look for a quick hookup.

Most importantly, you should always stay true to yourself. Making the right decision may be difficult in the heat of the moment. If you ask yourself these five questions every time before you go to bed with someone new, you’ll have a better grip on your thoughts and feelings in these situations.

Am I Going to Regret This?

This is the first and most fundamental question you need to face before getting intimate with anyone. Maybe you’re drunk or on drugs, or you think you might get something out of the act. There are various reasons behind people’s decisions to have sex even though they don’t really want to. Waking up the next morning with a feeling of regret and disgust shouldn’t be part of a good one-night-stand. If you’re too intoxicated to the point where you think it might be clouding your judgment, it might be time to say “no” and go home by yourself.

Are We On the Same Page?

Once you’ve established that you want to go to bed with someone, you should take a long look at your potential lover and consider whether they’re expecting the same things from this experience. It’s fine if you’re just looking for a quick fling and nothing else. It stops being okay once your counterpart doesn’t know what they’re getting into and they agree to sleep with you thinking they’re going to develop a more meaningful connection. Nobody likes to be led astray, and you should ask yourself whether you’re not doing just that to the person you want to sleep with.

Do I Feel Safe?

After considering your partner’s feelings and expectations, you should focus on yourself once again. If you find yourself infatuated and really like someone who’s got a mysterious vibe about them, ask yourself whether you’re ready for this kind of intimacy with that person. Just because you think you like someone a lot, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you feel safe around them. In that case, it might be best to hold off with the sex until after the next couple of dates, so that they establish themselves in your life a little more.

Do I Feel Comfortable Communicating My Desires and Boundaries?

Feeling safe and being clear about each other’s intentions is a good start, but it doesn’t mean that you should sleep with that person just yet. You might find yourself in a situation where you know you really like the guy/girl and find them attractive enough to have sex with, but the communication aspect is a little clunky. You should ask yourself whether you’ll be comfortable communicating your desires, turn-offs, and boundaries in an intimate setting, especially if the conversation felt a little awkward even when the two of you were fully clothed.

Do I Feel Pressured to Have Sex?

This is one of the most important questions to ask yourself before having sex with a stranger. Even if you disregard the previous points, you should never engage in intercourse out of pressure. It may be societal pressure — you don’t want to seem like a goody-two-shoes prude who never puts out. It can also stem directly from your partner, either indirectly (“ugh, my past couple of dates were total teases”) or in a straight-up creepy, direct manner, such as continuously ordering you drinks in a sleazy attempt to get you drunk and loose.

The Bottom Line

In certain situations, it’s simply impossible to make rational decisions and be guided by logic and reason. The questions listed above are meant to help you start thinking a little more about what kind of people you bring into your life, and whether you’re always comfortable getting intimate with them. They don’t only apply to one-night-stands, either. It’s totally fine to be okay with having sex with a person one day and be completely repulsed by them after a couple of weeks. Sexual attraction is one of those things in life that is fluid and can change on a daily basis, so don’t let other people tell you they know what you want more than you do.

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