Either you are through with the quick divorce or long-term complicated process, you feel the burden of the life you have to leave in the past and the fear of the life coming with the nearest future. The first thing you need to realize that your turnover will be far from easy but it simply has to happen. You have been living according to a set scenario for years or even decades, you haven’t changed your roles or surroundings. And now, when you are divorcee everything is going to be completely different.

Yet there is nothing to be scared about. Actually, you have even more power, energy, gifts, and skills to get a fresh start than you have ever imagined. Long ago, before your family life, you had more of a personality than during your marriage, so now it is time to awaken it and reach your personal happiness. 

1. Reach for Help

What you need to start with is to put your shame away and ask for help. It’s normal to get professional assistance with online divorce form, so what’s the problem with getting a hand of help with post-divorce life.

 It is good when you have a close relative or friend to back you up or simply let you talk it out, but it is better when you can get experience-based or professional advice. A good therapist once or twice a week not for your kids only, but especially for you will help to sort the things out, deal with past and prepare yourself for a happy future.

2. Believe In Yourself

It is easier to say than do, but believing in your inner potential and uniqueness is the key to rediscovering yourself and building up a new life. 

You may be stuck with the thought that the core of your life, that was your family, is ruined, you have lost your main role and life sense and you have nothing to live for. So, you should go back in past and rediscover what kind of person you were before the marriage, what you had to give up to start a family, what gifts and skills you were nurturing and were proud of. Once you realize that you had life, values, and happiness without your partner and family status, you can believe in yourself again and be happy with what you have. 

3. Let Yourself Feel

Being ready with the divorce packet, you are not obliged to settling your life as a divorcee at the spot. You shouldn’t be pressured or forced to repair your private life or career straight after the divorce just because you have to do this. 

Being overwhelmed with stress and emotional tension, you need some qualitative time to let yourself feel, to give freedom to your emotions and personal feelings. Still, not everyone can afford a month of relaxation and meditation. Yet, finding ten-twenty minutes a day alone with yourself is easier than you think. Find time for a pause in your busy lifestyle, get a nanny, use a lunch break or schooltime, take a cup of your favorite drink, find an appropriate place in a park, at the window, in the art gallery, sit in silence and let our emotions and feelings flow through you. This will save you from depression, extra stress, and self-isolation.  

4. Let the Past Go

Being married for half a life or half an adult life, it can be difficult to imagine your life without a full family. But holding on the past, grieving on the lost relationships and possibilities, enumerating the reasons you didn’t need to sign the divorce court forms is not a ticket to the successful future.

You need to step over yourself and treat the divorce not like the biggest life mischief but as a unique possibility to live your life in a different, better way. You have to stop stalking yourself with thoughts and hesitation about your past, but make conclusions, learn your lesson and let it go. If it seems impossible for you, get a friend or specialist to help you. 

5. Discover Your Calling

Maybe your partnership and family were a sense of your life but it cannot be your solemn calling. You need to discover your feelings and personal desires, understand what you are living for, set the priorities. Your kids and marriage itself are significant parts of your life, but you can really do more than cook a delicious dinner or please your partner. You should understand that you can be important and needed by many people, your task is to realize your calling, follow it and achieve your personal success. 

6. Organize Your Life

You are not forced to fix and organize every single part of a new life the minute after you get divorced. But you cannot freeze the time as well. The life is rolling on and it waits for some reaction from you. You don’t need to hurry with many things, but there are issues that are to be dealt with better sooner than later.

The top question is your financial stability, which is better to be bothered about far before the divorce. If you don’t want to end up penniless and homeless, you should care thoroughly about your personal assets, sources of income and credit score. Your career problem goes along with your financial stability and depends on it. 

As to your private life, you are in a highly beneficial situation. You are experienced, free to choose the type of relationships, the time you are ready for them and the time you want to end them. Still be careful with going to extremes, neither self-isolation nor fast-changing romantic partners will do any good to you. 

In all other issues, you just need to welcome changes, understand what is really good for you, and build up your happiness with confidence.